Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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