I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize