I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize