he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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