Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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