i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
third nipple confirmed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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