last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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