What a fucking waste of an outfit
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
