you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
