I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
