But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
