His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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