I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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