some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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