Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
