unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize