I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
