considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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