Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
