I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
