I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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