Who did Billy Mays play for?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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