ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
