I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
