Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
