you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
