I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize