Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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