You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize