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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.

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• (646): View more from New York

  ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!

  (812): View more from Indiana

  ?

  (646): View more from New York

  Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?

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• (650): View more from California

  i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug

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• (626): View more from California

  you didnt know i had herpes?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

  (714): View more from California

  Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

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• (562): View more from California

  Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????

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• (817): View more from Texas

  You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.

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• (310): View more from California

  My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?

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• (626): View more from California

  You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.

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