I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
