I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
