Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
