i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
