I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
