i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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