You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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