dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
