i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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