Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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