White coat. Heels.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
