His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
