Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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