R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
