New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize