I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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