I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
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so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
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Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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