Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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