I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
