I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
