i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
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Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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