Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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