also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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