i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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