cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
