Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize