Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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