So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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