Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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